OUCH!
by lccorp2
Summary: An explainatory fic...Just some odd stuff that happened to me and explains my new pen name...and how I get to rip people's throats out in Eskimo Jolteon... ^_-


Author's note: I'm doing this as a sort of bio to explain later episodes of Eskimo Jolteon.oh well. Hope you like! ^_^  
  
(The scene opens on a happy beach. We see me, The Crimson Lugia (TCL), Corrector9Yui (C9Y) and Pyrovulpix (PV) walking along.)  
  
TCL: a good day for beach camping, no?  
  
Me: I suppose so, although I don't see why we had to arrive at near- evening.  
  
TCL: blame it on Pyrovulpix. He kept on stopping at all the gas stations for cheese nips.  
  
PV: (munching on cheese nips) CHEESE NIPS ARE GOOD! CHEESE NIPS ARE YOUR FRIEND!  
  
C9Y: nah. MORTY IS YOUR FRIEND!  
  
Me: all right, break it up. We're here for beach camping.  
  
C9Y: all right. Pyrovulpix and I will go set up the foldable tent.  
  
TCL: I'll go look for a snack stand. (Wanders off)  
  
Me: I'll go night fishing. Maybe I can catch a Staryu!  
  
C9Y: and what would you do with it?  
  
Me: why, check it for stardust, then roast and eat it! (Laughs evilly)  
  
C9Y: I think I'll stay in the tent.  
  
Me: (handing PV a truckload of cheese nips) here, the cheese nips Umbreon stole from you.  
  
PV: cheese nips! (Roasts them nicely and swallows the bags whole)  
  
Me: oh well. I gotta go look for my rod. (Rummages in backpack)  
  
(TCL returns with a whole load of cookies)  
  
TCL: what are you doing?  
  
Me: I'm looking for my rod.  
  
TCL: I got it right here! ^_^ (Lifts her wing and reveals my rod)  
  
Me: gimme back my rod! (Chases her)  
  
(Eventually, I catch up with TCL and get my rod back.)  
  
TCL: you're so slow! By the way, why are you still wearing that plate armor? No one wears plate armor to the beach!  
  
Me: well.  
  
TCL: TIN MAN! TIN MAN!  
  
C9Y: stop it; I'm trying to write another chapter of Oracle of Candies!  
  
(Suddenly, it starts to rain Morty soft toys)  
  
C9Y: Morty soft toys! Morty collectable figurines! THIS MUST BE HEAVEN!  
  
Me: oh all right, I'll take it off if it pleases you. (Struggles out of plate armor)  
  
TCL: why can't it rain cookies instead? (Pouts)  
  
C9Y: YAY! (Collects all the Morty collectables)  
  
(Suddenly, the rain of Morty figurines stops and it rains cookies)  
  
TCL: YAY! COOKIES! (Shovels as many as she can into her mouth)  
  
Me: sigh. Guess I'll go now.  
  
(The camera follows me as I walk along the beach in order to find a good spot to sit down. The sun is setting, the last rays peeking over the horizon. I find a rocky outcrop, spread my towel and cast my line.)  
  
Me: this is so boring. (Starts on a book you've probably never heard of) now to wait for a bite.  
  
(Suddenly, I hear a hissing behind me.)  
  
Me: what.(Turns around and sees an Umbreon) oh no. This doesn't look too good.  
  
(The Umbreon advances, hissing at me.)  
  
Me: nice Umbreon! Stay!  
  
(Without any warning, the Umbreon leaps forward and sinks its teeth into my leg.)  
  
Me: (shaking my leg as the searing pain runs through it) OUCH! (CENOSRED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED)! LET GO! LET GO!  
  
(Eventually, the Umbreon lets go and scampers off into the distance)  
  
Me: (clutching bleeding leg) oh great. First my chemistry teacher gives me a pile of homework and now this. It's gonna be a looonnngg weekend. (Picks up rod and limps off)  
  
(The scene changes and we are back at camp. I limp in from the distance.)  
  
TCL: well, did you have a good ti.(notices my leg) oh dear. (Rushes back into the tent and returns with some bandages)  
  
C9Y: (coming out from tent) what's the matter? I was admiring my new collection of Morty action figurines.  
  
TCL: (applying bandages) all right, how did this happen?  
  
Me: some mad Umbreon bit me in the leg.  
  
TCL: and you just let it do that?  
  
Me: well, *cough cough* YOU, *cough cough * persuaded ME, *cough cough* to take off my obsidianite breastplate, helmet, gauntlets, leggings and armored boots. Not that I'm complaining, of course.  
  
TCL: (rolling eyes) all right.  
  
Me: where's Pyrovulpix?  
  
C9Y: he's sleeping IN the campfire. Says it's all warm and cozy in there.  
  
Me: o_0  
  
TCL: there! All done! (Slaps bandages)  
  
Me: OOOOOUUUUUCCCHHHH!  
  
TCL: oops, sorry. ^_^;  
  
C9Y: by the way, can I use your wing as a blanket tonight, TCL?  
  
TCL: why?  
  
C9Y: because it's so warm and fuzzy! ^_^  
  
TCL: umm..I.oh, all right.  
  
Me: come on, let's go to sleep.  
  
(We all go into the tent.)  
  
C9Y: (from inside the tent) hey, TCL, you're taking up all the space!  
  
TCL: it's not my fault I'm a Lugia, is it?  
  
C9Y: I guess not.  
  
(Time: 10:30 pm. Location: the tent)  
  
(The camera shows C9Y, TCL, and me sleeping in the tent. I suddenly awaken for no apparent reason.)  
  
Me: what the.I feel odd.oh well; a drink of water will solve it.(Reaches for backpack)  
  
(Suddenly, I notice my arm. It is covered in some sort of downy black fur.)  
  
Me: WHAT THE.(hears the first bone pop) oh no. (Closes eyes and hopes it will all be over.)  
  
TCL: (sleepily) Lc, stop snoring. Other authors are trying to sleep here!  
  
(The popping and snapping continues, although it doesn't hurt, for some reason.)  
  
TCL: did you hear me? I said STOP SNORING!  
  
(Finally, the noise stops, and I open my eyes. The world seems brighter, and everything seems larger. I struggle out of my clothes.)  
  
Me: what just happened.(Notices paws and finally comprehends what has happened) oh no.AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!  
  
TCL: (sleepily) that's it. (Whacks the spot where my head should have been with a pillow) (realizes my head's not there) huh?  
  
C9Y: (waking up) what's going on? (Notices me) hello, what's a shiny Umbreon doing in here?  
  
TCL: yeah, and where's Lc?  
  
Me: HEY! I'M HERE! DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?!  
  
(TCL AND C9Y look down quizzically at me for a moment)  
  
C9Y: is it really you?  
  
Me: I'm speaking, right?  
  
TCL: good point.  
  
Me: am I really shiny?  
  
TCL: well, your rings appear to be a nice shade of blue.  
  
Me: oh no.could you get the encyclopedia Gameia from my backpack, please?  
  
(Pyrovulpix walks into the tent)  
  
PV: hey, what's going on? (Notices me) and what's a shiny Umbreon doing here? Where's Lc?  
  
C9Y: oh? Lc is the Umbreon.  
  
PV: (looking down at my three-foot-three form) is it really you?  
  
Me: (empathically) YES! IT IS ME!  
  
PV: cool!  
  
TCL: (getting the encyclopedia Gameia and flicking through it) ah, here. Were-pokism. The affliction on turning into a pokemon, commonly spread by bites. Although the detailed symptoms vary from fic to fic, the most common version is the afflicted turning into a pokemon at night, and turning back in the day. The afflicted may also choose to change to and fro during the day at will. There is no known way of breaking this curse. Also see article on pokemorphs.  
  
Me: oh, just great.  
  
(Suddenly, Morty appears)  
  
Morty: would any of you like some chocolate milk?  
  
C9Y: OH YES! (Little hearts float above her head) (She walks out with Morty)  
  
Me: so, what are you gonna do?  
  
PV: no point staying up and waiting for you to change back, right? I'm going back to the glowing embers to sleep. Bye.  
  
TCL: I agree, after I have a cookie. (Rummages in her bag, scattering whatnot all over the tent. A silver spoon hits me on the head)  
  
Me: OUCH!  
  
TCL: come on, it's just a spoon.  
  
Me: it BURNED me! I FELT it!  
  
TCL: umm, okay. By the way, when you're going to change back, do it behind a bush or something and take your clothes with you. I don't want to see your human birthday suit.  
  
Me: umm.okay.  
  
(TCL rummages in her bag some more, but fails to find any cookies)  
  
TCL: NO COOKIES?! EEEEEEEEEeeeeeee! (Faints)  
  
Me: oh well. (Picks up clothes in mouth and leaves)  
  
(Time: 7:00 Am. Location: the bush I was sleeping in)  
  
Me: (sleepily) mmmffff.(notices that I am back to my old self, then notices the camera) hey, what're YOU looking at? (Smashes camera, then wastes no time in getting my clothes on)  
  
(The scene changes to the tent. All the authors are crowded around my laptop.)  
  
PV: hee hee. Now we know the plots for Eskimo Jolteon Episodes 31 and 32.  
  
(I walk into the tent)  
  
Me: (noticing what they are doing) AACCCKKK! (Snatches laptop away)  
  
PV: you're a bit too late!  
  
C9Y: (staring at me) maybe you should have a look at yourself in the mirror.  
  
Me: what? (Fishes out one from backpack and looks into it) oh no.  
  
TCL: nice bloodshot eyes.  
  
PV: and teeth.  
  
Me: oh noooo.(Grabs shades from backpack and puts them on) guess I'll have to smile less in the future.  
  
TCL: hee hee.  
  
Me: well, at least I can threaten to bite people.(notices cameraman) go away! Or I'll Change and BITE you!  
  
(The cameraman flees)  
  
C9Y: that was almost as good as Evil Whitney.  
  
(Camera fades out)  
  
How'd you like this? I did this just for fun, so that I can have fun ripping Tracey's throat out later in Eskimo Jolteon! 


End file.
